Why do they rate a movie R for adult language? The only people I hear using that language are teenagers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Low battery* *low battery**low battery* Well, apparently, you have enough battery to remind me every 2 seconds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm just calling to make sure you still didn't want me to ever call you again. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you think someone is ignoring you when in reality you just didn't press send. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear parents, we know money doesnt grow on trees, thats why we are asking you for it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I have to pee. 5%-Going to pee. 95%-Telling people you have to pee. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Celebrating the Jewish New Year is like celebrating the regular New Year except we blow into a ram's horn and have the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Crying while seeing a Question Paper is common... But making your teachers cry seeing your Answer paper is somthing EXTRA ORDINARY !!!… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're actually telling the truth, but you're laughing so everyone thinks you're lying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
TEACHER: You should KNOW this, you learned it 3 Year ago! Me: Bitch, I dont even remember what happened last week! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
AKLGJFSFASKLFJK íASL. OHMYGOD. i missed the Believe ticket sale, but my town is lame and doesn'thave many beliebers SOOO I canget floor… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut an your eyes open. The truth always comes out in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Question: have you had a bf befor? Answer: Yepp and I currently have one — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday and 4% Friday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today is April Fools' Day. Believe nothing and trust no one... Just like any other day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Slap a player, stomp a bitch; they both ain't nothing but some nasty tricks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Brushing your teeth before having breakfast is like wiping your ass before having a shit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Love is funny. Makes you happy, sad and do all sorts of things you never thought you'd do before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughing is the best medicine.But if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey Hey What's up?Nothing, you? Same Cool.Yeah. LIKE if you hate conversations like this. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today marks the last day it's remotely appropriate for us to nail high school girls — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't forget to purchase token Hanukkah decorations so your holiday party doesn't seem racist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you see 9 year olds with boyfriends or girlfriends, while you're still single. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Theirs nothing I can say that a Hallmark card couldnt say much better... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think we should see other people until I am absolutely sure I can't do any better than you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For all the love you've given me, I will one day pay your nursing home bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife said I was bad in bed so I banged her on the coffee table. Location. Location. Location. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This just isn't for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people - I'm single. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The funny thing about the truth is everyone has their own version of it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Somebody busted in my car window. Thank god they didn't take my servitude outline. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
