How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why I wear thick socks: 1% To be warm. 1% To be comfortable. 98% To slide across floor like a freakin ninja! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two Kit-Kats fall out of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend has to asks you whats wrong, a good friend has a shoulder for you to cry on, but a best-friend… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Leap Day! Use it to do something adventurous that you'd never normally do! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some guys hold their girlfriend's hand in malls because.. . . If he leaves her hand.. She'll go shopping!! It looks ROMANTIC… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Relationships Nowadays: First week I love you baby! Second week we are forever! Third week single. be back latter — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when a package says Easy open & you end up using scissors, knife, hammer, gun & a lightsaber trying… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
His smile. His lips. His laugh. His hair. His eyes. His hands. Hishumour. His smirk. His weird faces. Not a name was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's joke about how depressing Monday is to distract us from how depressing every day is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are like fish... neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A cop pulled me over and said, 'Papers...' So I said, 'Scissors, I win!' and drove off like a boss! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men wouldn't have to lie so much... if women wouldn't ask so many questions! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Two people are never such good friends as when they are share a mutual dislike of a third person. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When the average man becomes thoroughly acquainted with himself, he ceases to wonder why has so few friends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I miss the old days where if you liked someone, all you had to do was chase them around the playground. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Breaking Bad has taught me the hazards of bringing my porn-filled computer anywhere near a giant magnet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
College students in a 8:00am class are probably the closest thing to zombies that the world will ever have. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you don't know which arm rest is yours at the cinema. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, you got an 'A' on your test? Please brag about how much smarter you are than everybody else — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why Bother Reading Books? We Have EMINEM He Can Read a Whole Story In 4 Minutes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We aren't dating, but when I see someone else flirting with you, Ijust wanna punch them in the face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's spend Memorial Day weekend damaging our bodies enough to ensure the military never wants us. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Best friends will let you drive them around no matter how many times you almost kill them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are liars. Well lie about lying if we have to. Im an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
