Congratulations on having the same great idea as someone who successfully executed it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Dad, how does it feel having the best son in the world?' I don't know, ask your grandfather... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think I might like you funny huh. yeah really funny. but do i? I guess ill never know — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry there's no Black Friday deal for the hospital visit you'll need after Black Friday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everybody secretly hates that couple who plans their wedding on holiday weekends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, because I am still looking for ideas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd love to do all those things from my favorite college movies but it turns out they're felonies — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Good Friend; Will lend you money and not expect you to pay them back. Best Friend; Will lend you money and then… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a cop says get on your knees and put ur hands in the sky, then hand cuffs u, it probably just… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away from him, and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ok so I have to put this out there. I'm so fucking tired of people trying to say people who are suicidal… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Readjusted law school expectations: when you're so excited that your 'to do' list is down to only 143 items due in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I go to someone's house and they tell me to make myself at home, I throw them out because I don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You say I'm a bi**h? Well a bi**h is a dog, and dogs bark, and bark is on trees, and trees are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that woman's I'll be ready in five minutes and man's I'll be home in five minutes are exactly… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's celebrate Grandparents Day by setting our thermostats to 95F and gossiping about our neighbors' health. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dude, she just called you deaf.WHAT?!?! I said, she just called you deaf! Awwhh HELL NAWH!! My name ain't Beth! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're 14 and half naked in your profile picture? Congratulations í. Your parents must be proud. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best way to remember your 21st birthday, is not at all. Have fun blacking out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened yesterday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My excuse for being lazy: I'm not the real slim shady, so why would I stand up? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Music teacher: 'What's your favorite musical instrument?' Fat kid: 'The lunch bell.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Saving a file as jkhsjkfsjjuk because you're too lazy to write a proper title. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You remind me of Christopher Columbus in that you're always discovering things people knew about years ago. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won't text while going down stairs. That shits dangerous. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The walk of shame at the store when you have to put somethingback because your mom saysno — Anonymous Copy Share Image
After reading the 'Zux' Fanfic made me cry... Why Did That Directioner EvenWrite that NASTY Thing — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you are S.e.x.y and you know it then clap your hands and sit down coz you're not. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm really looking forward to the non-existent wedding you're planning on Pinterest. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hugs can be really awkward when you aren't really sure where to put your arms. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
