Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 116

Scientifically I am feeling the effect of chemicals being sent to my brain, but theoretically I love you!

— Anonymous

World war 2 could have been prevented, if only someone had given Hitler a snickers

— Anonymous

I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.

— Anonymous

That mini heart attack you get when the parked car next to you moves and you think you're moving.

— Anonymous

I can't be around depressed people, I laugh when people cry. I don't mean to I just find it funny.

— Anonymous

The secret to staying young is to eat slowly, live honestly, and lie about your age.

— Anonymous

I am Looking for a Bank which can Give me a loan, and leave me alone!

— Anonymous

Thanks for always telling me which emerging buzz bands to have in my iPod.

— Anonymous

If you think about it he world s one big testicle and all the people are the crabs and all the skyscrapers…

— Anonymous

If you take relationship advice from Taco Bell hot sauce packets...Congratulations, you have reached rock bottom.

— Anonymous

Remind me," he paused, drawing in a stuttered gasp, "to never piss you off again. Christ, are you secretly a ninja?

— Anonymous

Pushing the stop button on your microwave before it goes off so you don't have to hear the beep.

— Anonymous

I never see a tombstone that said, died from not forwarding to ten people

— Anonymous

Fun prank idea: Replace all of the songs on someone's iPod with the Kid Bop versions

— Anonymous

Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Twitter instead

— Anonymous

I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

— Anonymous

Hey you ve been living in my heart but you havent paid your rent.

— Anonymous

Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the 6 you be the 9.

— Anonymous

I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

— Anonymous

Funny how I have answers to all questions but realized that some are actually wrong.

— Anonymous

Freedom of speech is lost when you get into a relationship and she is beautiful

— Anonymous

If someone ever tells you,Expect the unexpected, slap them in the face and say,Were you expecting that?

— Anonymous

But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.

— Anonymous

Am I the only one Who will spend 20 minutes trying to get my messy bun perfect?

— Anonymous

That moment when you get caught in your pajamas by an unexpected visitor

— Anonymous

Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.

— Anonymous

Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures.

— Anonymous

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

— Anonymous

Im Kail, I was given a girls name when I was a baby because my parents are idiots.

— Anonymous

Cop: Ma'am, could you please step out of the car? Me: I'm kinda drunk, why don't you just get in.

— Anonymous

Its not a coincidence that Sober and So bored sound alike.

— Anonymous

EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!!! * Answers phone* Hey mom.. (background) NO I WILLNOT PUT MY PANTS ON!!!!

— Anonymous

You're so pretty! Hell yeah I am, that's why I've been single this whole time

— Anonymous

May this be the year people stop mistaking your most talented citizens for Americans.

— Anonymous

The awkward moment when you actually have to tell someone that you're being sarcastic.

— Anonymous

2 girls wearing the same shirt :That bitch, copied my style .. 2 boys wearing the same shirt :Brother !!

— Anonymous

I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

— Anonymous

The awkward moment when you have a thousand tabs open and one starts talking; 'CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WON!'

— Anonymous

HATING is an emotional disease... so for those who hate me... Hope you get well soon...

— Anonymous

If at first you dont succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.

— Anonymous