Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 108

I'm asking for your hand in marriage and signing a prenup.

— Anonymous

There was no sex education in 70's we thought kama sutra was Indian takeaway.

— Anonymous

The moment you're laughing so hard and you try to stop, but youlook at the person and laugh again

— Anonymous

I remember when I was a kid , and I used to go on the computer just to use paint . The…

— Anonymous

Listen, I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when someone asks if your hair is wet, but its just that dirty.

— Anonymous

If I see one more female taking a picture with Duck Lips I'm going to punch her and make them permanent.

— Anonymous

__ Is in a Realtionship with ___ HAHAHAHA. OMG I GIVE IT AWEEK

— Anonymous

I can't help but sit here and think about all the stupid stuff we have done together. I wouldn't want to be…

— Anonymous

Next time you look at someone thinking, 'I wish I was that pretty.' remember that another person is thinking that same thought…

— Anonymous

Pops added,you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve. And if you do, you never get…

— Anonymous

I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It's obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola

— Anonymous

Boy: "Wanna see a magic trick?" "Sure!" Boy: "POOF! Hey, you're single." Boy: "Wanna hear a joke?" Girl: "Sure?" Boy: "Our Relationship..."

— Anonymous

A friend will calm you down when your angry. A best friend will skip beside you singing 'someone's going to get it.'

— Anonymous

A ham sandwich is better than nothing. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. A ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness.

— Anonymous

THE AWKWARD MOMENT: When you look up from your phone & the person you have been following around the supermarket, isn't your Mom.

— Anonymous

Life's like your Ex-boyfriend it has it's up it has it's down but in the end you still finish it.

— Anonymous

If she doesn't know about STACYS MOM ..she's too young for you bro

— Anonymous

Happy Canada Day to the people who sell me inexpensive sexual enhancement drugs online.

— Anonymous

The planet Saturn = 7 rings. Jordan = 6 rings. Kobe = 5 rings. LeBron…just a headband.

— Anonymous

Success is like a fart, it only bothers people if it's not their own.

— Anonymous

*dirty hands, no napkins around* Wellll, my jeans are dark anyways...

— Anonymous

My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style.

— Anonymous

The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.

— Anonymous

Why is ''W'' called a double-u if it's two Vs put together ?

— Anonymous

I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I'm outstanding.

— Anonymous

That awkward little half runningwalk thing you do when a car lets you cross the road.

— Anonymous

Dad, thanks for teaching me how to ride a bike without the use of performance-enhancing drugs.

— Anonymous

Someone asked me what book I read of the summer. I replied with, "Facebook."

— Anonymous

It doesn't need to be Boss's Day for me to pretend I respect you.

— Anonymous

Your side of the family has always been slightly less psychotic.

— Anonymous

If ugliness was measured in bricks, you would be the great wall of China.

— Anonymous

Children must always wear a seat belt...Except if you put 50 of them in one vehicle.

— Anonymous

There's a fine line between hugging someone and holding them down so they can't get away.

— Anonymous

I'm actually not funny, I'm just man and people think I'm joking.

— Anonymous

That awkward run you do whena car lets you cross the street (;

— Anonymous

The moment when you're so pissed off, and someone K.s you.

— Anonymous

No matter how old you are... if alittle kid shoots you with a toy gun, you act dead.

— Anonymous

When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.

— Anonymous

I'd rather have an enemy that slaps me in the face than a friend that stabs me in the back.

— Anonymous