Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't break someone's heart they have only one, Break their bones, they have 206 of them — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Beating someone in a video game when you were just pressing random buttons the whole time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The sooner I never see you again, the better it'll be for both of us when we meet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks to all my friends this wedding season for being too immature or undateable to get married. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If someone asks you to do something for them, do it bad, so they'll never ask you to do it again — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it's like having a kidnapper tell you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No woman will ever be truly satisfied on Valentines day because no man has a chocolate penis wrapped in money that ejaculates… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's a crazy society when guys wanna see a movie about a teddy bear, and girls wanna see a movie about strippers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A simple hug from the one you love is the biggest satisfaction in the world…¥¥ b'Coz u know you are in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are three types of men; those who learn by reading, those who learn by watching, and those who pee on the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
PROBLEM: So, I'm a model. but I'm seriously insecure. modeling is something I love, and something I love doing, but I don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying my ex-girlfriend is a slut I am just saying if everyone's cock had wings she'd be a airport. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Periods, the only reason I like you is because you're a sign that I'm not pregnant. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My favorite thing about summer is having a valid excuse for my excessive sweating. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When your parents leave you home alone ... Well, its time toteach the neighbor what good music is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some people call it a learning curve, I call it going in circles. Attempting to study... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you don't go out on the limb... how are you going to get the good apple? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I challenge you to find a whiter problem than Mad Men and Game of Thrones being on at the same time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I gained a calorie for every time I thought of food, I'd be the size of a blue whale. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny. Of all the jobs I've been ambitious for, this is one that never crossed my mind. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have lost my phone. Please call it so I can find it. -sent via Andriod phone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom, thanks for providing me with love that's as never-ending as your voice mails. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to learn that it is God shaking them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best curve on a girl is her smile. Nah just joking, look at that ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yes I am a little full of myself. Play your cards right and you can be full of me too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry the joy of finding your soul mate will forever be tarnished by the fact that you met online. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning paper? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's a party next to my houseand they're playing One Thing really loud I'm just like dancing in my room — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ripped Jeans. & Gym Class The only two reasons to shave your legs in the winter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
