I would like to find the person who discovered sex and see what he's working on now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm gonna cross 3/4 of the street, then turn around and go back for no fucking reason. -Squirrels — Anonymous Copy Share Image
While a rich man cannot have more than 1440 minutes a day, a clever man makes more time by using OPM or… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I feel as ignored as a white crayon, the first piece of bread, Internet explorer, the terms of agreement, and the 18yrs+… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: *Playing video games* Someone says: Hey! *10 minutes later* Me: I DIED AND ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE TALKING TO ME.! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're talking to yourself and start to smile like an idiot because you're so hilarious .. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Unless you are the one who put this baby in here or the one who will take it out, you are not… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: Okay brain, lets focus for just 45 minutes on this math test we can do this. Brain: DADADA BANANA LALALALALA AFRO… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have to continue reminding myself that it's Halloween so I can't rely on my instincts to shoot zombies in the head. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What I want to be when I grow up? A vet..but my dream is to be a singer/ íactress. Just like the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
By George!" cried the inspector. "How did you ever see that?" Because I looked for it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom (on computer): do I click this? You: No! What are you doing? just give me the computer, I'll do it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I like to glew my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I'm a T-rex. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you really want your friends to remember you, give them something cheap. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Considering we met online, I feel it's totally appropriate to break up with you over email. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're at Starbucks? Please post pictures of your coffee, I've never seen one before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're uncomfortable around my dog, I'm happy to lock you in the other room when you come over. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it's either a new car...or a new girl! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I'm ever murdered, I hope it's interesting enough to be the inspiration for a Law & Order episode. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for putting in extra hours to make a bullshit deadline that does not matter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? oh wait never mind you'll never get it — Anonymous Copy Share Image
TeenQuotes **MISSING UNICORN** Its light purple with a drak purple mane. If you see it, you'reprobably high. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I text someone and they dont text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted of excitement. ( — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If eating left over pizza for breakfast is wrong, I don't wanna be right! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
TEACHER:this isn't some paper you can just write the night before ME:you underestimate my power — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
