Can I see your phone? Uhm, yeah, a moment, I just have to send a text. *Delete, Delete, Delete, Delete* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just give me one more chance to prove the last five affairs I had meant nothing to me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just realized the tooth fairy teaches us to sell our body parts for money. O__o — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone elses can shorten it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't always go for the guys who can sweep you off your feet. They can drop you on your ass just as… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So basically keeping the status as 'Busy' on WhatsApp actually means that the person is always 'Busy on WhatsApp' ^o^ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when you cry over someone when they dont even care if they dont care why should we you know there… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Relationships are like yard sales, they look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but then you realize its just a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Aha, I really want to make a facebook account called 'nobody' so then I'll add enemies and it'd notify them saying nobody… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'll call it a smart phone the day I yell, Where's my freaking phone?! and it answers, I'm here! Under your jacket! - — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Can cute boys stop being: 1-Famous. 2-Gay. 3-Younger than me. 4- Older than me. 5-123987564 miles away. 6-Taken. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your Hanukkah prayers not be drowned out by incessant Christmas music. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just wanted to congratulate myself on sitting through your graduation ceremony. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The grass is greener on the other side, because that's where the dog has been shitting. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I smile because you're my Mother. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it. Happy Mom's Day! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People are funny you don't even know about the shit that I been through. ~~~ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Genius takes time, but stupidity can be achieved in a heart beat, and usually is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'I have enough clothes and shoes I never need to go shopping again...' Said no girl ever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm glad the slower summer pace at work gives us more time to complain about work — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marching in the Gay Pride Parade is less exciting now that my parents support my sexual orientation. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in the way. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Parents catch you masturbating? Stare straight at em and finish like a boss! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think I can be a rapper, I'm good at rhymes.. cat, bat, fat, hat, chat… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how a person can break your heart, and you can still love them with all the little pieces. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
She's not a slow texter she's texting other niggas, so be patient and wait your turn. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
