Comedy Quote by Mollie Gross

“I gave my girlfriend a gallon of my semen and a minivan and told her to fill it up with kids. Big mistake! I…

— Jarod Kintz

“The goodie drawer of all goodie drawers. This dildo not only throbs, vibrates, expands, and comes equipped with hands-free feature, it sings a choice…

— J.D. Robb

“Evie says, “It's not living alone if you keep a rifle under the bed.” I write: i know girls who say that about their…

— Chuck Palahniuk

“She pulled down my pants and boxers in one unbroken movement, an act that felt as abrupt and strange as this entire afternoon, but…

— David Burr Gerrard

“Well, maybe those men don’t know what kind of pleasure you can give a woman using a dildo, while she begs you for the…

— Z.B. Heller

“Six hours later, when I returned, I was greeted at the door- and this before it was even opened -by the overpowering smell of…

— Augusten Burroughs

“Never, ever say the dildo accidentally turned itself on.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

“I saw fingerprint sized bruises on her thighs. She told me she had been bumping into things at work. They disappeared afterwards. I later…

— Steven Magee

“She went along with whatever I did, but I wanted something less generous and more… dubiously consensual. Like cuffing a passed-out woman to my…

— Annabel Joseph

“Condoms seemed to her inherently wicked. But they were also inherently funny. They were like rubber gloves with only one finger, and every time…

— Margaret Atwood

“But she laced her fingers through mine. I remember what she’d told me in New York, about building something permanent, and I thought-just maybe-we…

— Rick Riordan

“She leveled me with her eyes and twirled her braid. A bad idea since that one gesture brought three old dudes to her booth.…

— Jaime Reed