Comedy Quote by Mollie Gross

“Don’t bleach language, savour it instead. Stroke it gently or even groom it, but don’t “purify” it.”

— Roland Barthes

I called my grandmother yesterday. She picks up the phone, 'Oh hello, dear, hold on a second, I just stepped out of the shower.…

— Greg Fitzsimmons

I walked over and picked up one of the jugs. "What's this? Some kind of Caster disinfectant?" Lena took it out of my hand…

— Kami Garcia

“She murmured, in that particular Nancy way of hers that grates most when my inner bitch is aching to be let loose, 'Someone woke…

— Rachel Cohn

“I like the smell of my Grandma's soap - I used to sit in the bath and eat it.”

— Carl Barât

Come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach.

— Nirvana

“For all her chic thinness, she had an almost breakfast-cereal air of health, a soap-and-lemon cleanness, a rough pink darkening of the cheeks.”

— Truman Capote

“See, Red? When life hands you lemons, you know what you gotta do now." "Yes, Mr. Cliche. I know what I have to do.…

— Priscilla Glenn

“See, Red? When life hands you lemons, you know what you gotta do now.” “Wow,” Lauren said. “Yes, Mr. Cliché, I know what I…

— Priscilla Glenn

“When life gives you lemons, squirt your friend in the eye with it.”

— Amanda Kellogg

“Shove it up your ass and make a breath mint out of it!”

— Kim Harrison

“Today Baba got a blister when he put his palm down on the hood of our rental car! Mother had to put toothpaste on…

— Khaled Hosseini