Be proud Quote by Jack Handey

“Too bad there's not such a thing as a GOLDEN skunk, because you'd probably be PROUD to be sprayed by one.”

Jack Handey

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More by Jack Handey

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

Jack Handey

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I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down and explained that business hadn't been good at Dad's store, so we couldn't afford a turkey. We had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine. Later on, I went into Mom and Dad's…

Jack Handey

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you…

Jack Handey

Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.

Jack Handey

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I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?

Jack Handey

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It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a…

Jack Handey

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Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?!

Jack Handey

I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out west and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is…

Jack Handey

Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.…

Jack Handey

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Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can…

Jack Handey

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Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.

Jack Handey

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When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.

Jack Handey

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More Be proud quotes

At the end of night, before you close your eyes, be content with what you've done and be proud of who you are.

Steve Almond

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Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward…

Anonymous

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Do not be proud of your inconsistency. It is a pity, it is a pity that we should be equipped like this. It is…

E. M. Forster

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You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back…

Jon Stewart

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All of my decisions I made when I was a kid were decisions, would my mother and father be proud of.

Ken Venturi

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We had pathetically simple dreams: to do meaningful work that we could be proud of, to be together, and to be happy.

Tiffanie DeBartolo

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the Republicans love to say that the Democratic Party is ruled by 'special interests.' But when pressed to name these 'special interests,' the usual reply is women, blacks, teachers, and unions. Those are 'special interests' to be proud of - because together they comprise the majority of Americans. What about the 'special interests' that dominate the Republican Party - the…

Geraldine Ferraro

You should never be proud of doing the right thing. You should just do it.

Dean Smith

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I hate pride, but if I were going to be proud of anything it would have to be something I'd done myself. Race pride…

Carroll O'Connor

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What I have most learned from my son is to respect him and to love him unconditionally. I believe that if parents respect their children and educate them with love and justice (and not just with words, but with their own behavior) the relationship with their children will be wonderful. Then parents will always be proud of their children, and…

Miguel Angel Ruiz

I was a breed of people who aren't capable of doing anything, really. At college I began to get the idea that being macho wasn't the accepted norm in the liberal world, and especially the world I entered into, which was the artistic world. I had a lot of problems with that because I was struggling with the need to…

Philip Seymour Hoffman