Carrots Quote by Dennis Miller

“Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.”

Dennis Miller

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Carrots Dress Dresses Edge He Joan Rivers Lauren Lauren Bacall Lenny Bruce Needs Rivers Wrong

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It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.

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Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."

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I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from…

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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.

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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.

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I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep…

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Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.

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We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

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Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.

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Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!

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I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.

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Explore all 257 Dennis Miller quotes

More Carrots quotes

The universe is simmering down, like a giant stew left to cook for four billion years. Sooner or later we won’t be able to…

Arthur Bloch

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If you were to draw Bugs, the easiest way is to learn how to draw a carrot and then hook a rabbit onto it

Chuck Jones

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There comes a point where you see no evidence that the carrot and diplomacy are working.

John F. Kennedy

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I think they named the orange before the carrot.

Demetri Martin

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If you've got a plot the size of a car or a tiny yard in Italy, you're going to be growing tomatoes and basil…

Frances Mayes

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I usually eat four or five raw carrots with my meat, and that is all. I must be part rabbit; I never get bored…

Marilyn Monroe

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When your Super Bowl guests arrive, they should find a mound of potato chips large enough to conceal a pony sitting in front of…

Dave Barry

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For four to six months at a time, I would barely eat. I lived on a diet of Melba toast, carrots, and black coffee.

Alanis Morissette

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I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Mae West

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Look, I don’t care what the Ooga-Boogas do. It sounds like they need a family counselor, not a sniper. (Steele) They’re not Ooga-Boogas, they’re Uhbukistanis. (Syd) Whatever. My personal belief is that we should leave Ooga-Booga Land to the Oomp-Loompas. Let them fight it out with the Snozzwangers, Wangdoogles, and the mean Vermicious Knids. I’d rather go peal carrots with…

Sherrilyn Kenyon

I was in Las Vegas when the Nogueira brothers first touched down in America. There was a bus, this is a true story. There was a bus that pulled up to a red light, and Little Nog tried to feed it a carrot, while Big Nog was petting it. He thought it was a horse. This really happened. He tried…

Chael Sonnen