Just kids Quote by Demetri Martin

“I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.” quote by Demetri Martin — Download Open image

“I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.”

Demetri Martin

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.9 out of 5 (3 ratings)

More by Demetri Martin

I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.

Demetri Martin

Image

Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.

Demetri Martin

Image

When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.

Demetri Martin

Image

I think they named the orange before the carrot.

Demetri Martin

Image

I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front…

Demetri Martin

Image

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

Demetri Martin

Image

Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That…

Demetri Martin

Image

I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead.

Demetri Martin

Image

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

Demetri Martin

Image

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

Demetri Martin

Image

A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.

Demetri Martin

Image

THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the…

Demetri Martin

Image

Explore all 508 Demetri Martin quotes

More Just kids quotes

I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when someone kills someone for money, or something like that. Another…

Anonymous

I struck out with two men on base. I was so angry, so frustrated, I turned and without even thinking about it, snapped my bat over my thigh. The bat split right in half. Afterward, reporters asked me if it was the first time I'd ever broken a bat over my thigh. "I broke an aluminum bat over my knee…

Bo Jackson