Humor Quote by David Sedaris

“They questioned us but they were polite because we had passports and money. I do not think they believed a word of the story…

— Ernest Hemingway

“I can’t believe he’s making you wait till January for an appointment.” “I could threaten to bomb the school. That’d get me in quicker.”

— Jeannine Garsee

“This is a bigger deal than I thought. I’ll get him out. Actually, I’ll get him out first and then we’ll go to Baghdad.…

— Justin Conboy

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” “What is?” “Treaties and all that. It’s like we woke up one morning and we weren’t supposed to be enemies…

— Alyxandra Harvey

“He wouldn't have understood if I'd told him why I spend my time with criminals. He didn't know that I belonged with them. More…

— Samantha Shannon

“Why would you do that? I was scared to death. Why wouldn’t you just answer her questions?” “I kept us together.” Keely stares at…

— Dark Calling

“Ticket and passport. We're crossing the border." "Oh. Sorry." Dan handed the conductor his ticket. " Grazie ." " De nada ," Dan said.…

— Jude Watson

“I believe in justice, as long as I'm holding a knife at the throat of the judge.”

— Matthew Stover

“You're going to get us killed." "Well, since you got us kidnapped in the first place, I think it's only fair.”

— Samantha Young

“Boys, he said, only want to know two things: who is in charge, and what are the rules.”

— Neal Stephenson

I handed my passport to the immigration officer, and he looked at it and looked at me and said, 'What are you?'

— Grace Hopper

“I'm a wanted fugitive, and you're an upstanding bachelor of the year!”

— S.L. Wallace