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Chelsea Handler has 111 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's never any…
• It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If…
• I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old…
• Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
• I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.
• Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another…
• My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what is going…
• Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but…
• Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant…
• Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a turkey with…
• A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It just goes…
• Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that reads Shiloh.…

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