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More Quotes by Chelsea Handler
- I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.
- Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because…
- I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told…
- While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I…
- I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why…
- I would rather sit next to a transgender person and discuss why every single one I've met smells like a bar in the daytime than…
- This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so…
- I went out with a guy who once told me I didnt need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told…
- The part that wasn't a jackpot was his baseball mound of red pubic hair that looked like it had literally been attached with a glue…
- I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying…
More More Quotes
- . . . a basic law: the more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.… — Norman Vincent Peale
- All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. — Aristotle
- I'm hoping someday that some kid, black or white, will hit more home runs than myself. Whoever it is, I'd be pulling… — Hank Aaron
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- I believe more in precision, when you have the capability, like when you see a mosquito fly and you're able to hit… — Alexis Arguello
- As a kid, 'Star Wars' was much more my thing than 'Star Trek' was. — J. J. Abrams
- In a democracy the poor will have more power than the rich, because there are more of them, and the will of… — Aristotle
- Hence poetry is something more philosophic and of graver import than history, since its statements are rather of the nature of universals,… — Aristotle