"The part that wasn't a jackpot was his……" — Chelsea Handler
"The part that wasn't a jackpot was his baseball mound of red pubic hair that looked like it had literally been attached with a glue gun. I couldn't believe how much there was, and wondered how he had never heard of scissors, or--more appropriate for that kind of growth--hedge trimmers. I didn't understand what porn he was watching to not be aware of the trimming that was happening all across the world among his compatriots. I'm not a finicky person when it comes to pubic hair maintenance and I certainly don't expect men to shave it all off, leaving themselves to look like a hairless cat. That's even creepier then than seeing what Austin had, which could really only be compared to one thing: A clown in a leg lock."
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Chelsea Handler
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107 Quotes by Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler has 107 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's…
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It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to…
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have…
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Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
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I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.
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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator,…
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My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what…
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Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing…
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Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one…
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Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a…
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A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It…
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Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that…
See all 107 quotes by Chelsea Handler »
More Across Quotes
This quote is filed under Across Quotes,
one of 3,257 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Genres aren't closed boxes. Stuff flows back and forth across the borders all the time.
— Margaret Atwood
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I know that some books and some writers, you can pretty much draw a square around it and say, 'Nobody…
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A few years ago, I bought an old red bicycle with the words Free Spirit written across its side -…
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According to some Eastern religion, there is a belt that goes across the world, and I've heard that Minnesota is…
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As freedom-loving people across the globe hope for an end to tyranny, we will never forget the enormous suffering of…
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When Whitney Houston died, I felt great sadness. My sadness, of course, was about our collective loss - when you…
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Emigration, forced or chosen, across national frontiers or from village to metropolis, is the quintessential experience of our time.
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The arms race is worse than it ever was, the dumping of creation down a military rat hole is worse…
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Philately is normally a boys' hobby but for some reason it was in vogue at my junior school. Between the…
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If across the Atlantic the ideology was pride, here it is delivering the goods.
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But it's not just the cattle producers, it's all the attendant industries like transport and shipping and feed producers and…
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