Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. — Nikhil Saluja
Happiness starts with 'H' — Nikhil Saluja
Guns don't kill people. women who drives do. — Nikhil Saluja
If mom was here she would be subtweeting all over the place stuff like : who's gonna buy groceries : who's gonna clean room :… — Nikhil Saluja
Idiots don't know they are idiots, I know I am an idiot therefore I am not an idiot ;) — Nikhil Saluja
I once made a Palm tree joke it's now out of date. — Nikhil Saluja
I know dumb minds think alike too. — Nikhil Saluja
Women are like plug sockets. You have to stick something into all three holes before they work. — Nikhil Saluja
It's a beautiful day to kill someone. — Nikhil Saluja
I remain at your disposal, always use me. - DustBin — Nikhil Saluja
I lost my shame the day I was born. — Nikhil Saluja
I Followed you, I starred you, I retweeted you, I DM'ed you, I lost you, I blocked you, I never wanna see you again. — Nikhil Saluja
If you say you're in a bad place, and everything is coming your way, then chances are you're a woman, and you're in the wrong… — Nikhil Saluja
You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions. — Nikhil Saluja
The things that give me headaches are usually women. — Nikhil Saluja
Me: I think I could make you very happy She: Why? Are you leaving? — Nikhil Saluja
Me: Hey baby, whats your sign? She: Stop. — Nikhil Saluja
The only reason women need men around the house is because we haven't made a vibrator that can kill spiders. — Nikhil Saluja
If a woman has her tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette watch out. She's having a terrible day. — Nikhil Saluja
Instead of raising awareness for bullying, how about parents just stop raising assholes? — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: