Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. — Nikhil Saluja
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine. — Nikhil Saluja
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.' — Nikhil Saluja
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!' — Nikhil Saluja
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't… — Nikhil Saluja
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.' — Nikhil Saluja
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. — Nikhil Saluja
Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons Naughty girls unbutton your pants — Nikhil Saluja
Good girls wax their floors Bad girls wax their bikini line Naughty girls wax your nutsack — Nikhil Saluja
A Girl sucks. The woman swallows. — Nikhil Saluja
MAKING LOVE: Man: Call it what you want just as long as we end up in bed. Woman: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple… — Nikhil Saluja
Most of the time, I only agree with you to shut you the fuck up. — Nikhil Saluja
My GirlFriend told me that she want me to act a little more like her father. So I fucked her mom. — Nikhil Saluja
Never let your Ladys mind wonder. its too little to be out on its own — Nikhil Saluja
A girl works out. The woman works you out. In bed. — Nikhil Saluja
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. — Nikhil Saluja
Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies/ Bad girls know they could do it better Naughty girls do it with whips and chains — Nikhil Saluja
Good girls wear white cotton panties Bad girls don't wear any Naughty girls don't really give a shit — Nikhil Saluja
Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls Naughty… — Nikhil Saluja
Good girls pack their toothbrush Bad girls pack their diaphragms Naughty girls pack their dildos — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: