Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

WIFE, A lady who is much like an angler -- each think the best one got away; — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, A woman who can be labelled intelligent when she sees through her husband -- she's understanding when she sees him through; — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, What a man blames things on when he can't figure a way to blame the government; — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, A woman who can spot a blond hair on her husband's coat from ten feet away but can never see a fire plug when… — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, A female who would rather mend your ways than your socks; — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, A woman who, in the same breath, can complain she has nothing to wear, and is bemoaning she needs more closet space; — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, A spouse who always feels she doesn't dance enough; — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, Is in trouble with her roles when her husband finds her a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the bedroom; — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, A person who only lasts as long as a marriage -- an ex-wife is forever — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, HAPPY, a spouse who is sometimes so because she has the best husband -- more often it is that she makes the best of… — Nikhil Saluja
WIFE, WISE, one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only chairman of the… — Nikhil Saluja
WOMAN, LIBERATED, a female who has sex before marriage and a job after. — Nikhil Saluja
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties. — Nikhil Saluja
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends Over And over again that you love them. — Nikhil Saluja
Next Time someone rings your home phone, test their intelligence by replying with 'Hi, can I call you back I'm driving' — Nikhil Saluja
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. — Nikhil Saluja
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. — Nikhil Saluja
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. — Nikhil Saluja
If you had sex 365 times in 12 months and melted down the rubbers to make a tire, what would you have?? A F*****G GOODYEAR! — Nikhil Saluja
I'm allergic to lush, green lawns and also mowing them. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: