Witty Quotes

2578 quotes by 687 authors

Men to the left because women are always right. — Nikhil Saluja
Hole (noun) : When a mouse laughs at a cat, there is a hole nearby. — Nikhil Saluja
Bitch please, Your vagina is used more than google. — Nikhil Saluja
Politicians are like bananas when they first come in they're green, then they turn yellow, and finally they're rotten! — Nikhil Saluja
No matter how good she looks, Some other guy is sick and tired Of putting up with her shit. — Nikhil Saluja
It's hard to make a comeback When you haven't been anywhere. — Nikhil Saluja
If voting could really change things, It would be illegal. — Nikhil Saluja
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You're going to have trouble with it. — Nikhil Saluja
We don't negotiate with cockroaches. — Nikhil Saluja
Women love sex in the dark because they can't stand to see a man have a good time. — Nikhil Saluja
Me: Where have you been all my life? She: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. — Nikhil Saluja
When it comes to sex and phone calls, I have mastered the art of keeping them under a few minutes. — Nikhil Saluja
Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs. — Nikhil Saluja
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. — Nikhil Saluja
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. — Nikhil Saluja
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. — Nikhil Saluja
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. — Nikhil Saluja
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. — Nikhil Saluja
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. — Nikhil Saluja
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious… — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Witty Quotes

687 authors contributed a total of 2,578 Witty Quotes, led by these top contributors: