Stupid Quotes

4236 Stupid quotes by 2389 unique authors

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client? — George Carlin
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself. — George Carlin
If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends. — George Carlin
"No comment" is a comment. — George Carlin
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying. — George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been. — George Carlin
Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints? — George Carlin
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to. — George Carlin
The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a… — George Carlin
If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it! — George Carlin
Hooray for most things! — George Carlin
I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights. — George Carlin
What was the best thing before sliced bread? — George Carlin
Life is a zero sum game. — George Carlin
Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer. — George Carlin
I believe what really happens in history is this: the old man is always wrong; and the young people are always wrong about what is… — Gilbert K. Chesterton
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me. — Bill Watterson
Somebody does somethin' stupid, that's human. They don't stop when they see it's wrong, that's a fool. — Elvis Presley
There is nothing on earth so stupid as a gallant officer. — Duke of Wellington
It is so stupid of modern civilization to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it. — Ronald Knox
Claiming certainty without corroborating evidence is stupid. — Han Fei
We'll soon buy books and newspapers straight over the Internet. Uh, sure. — Clifford Stoll
Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid. — John Wayne
What unleashes action is an individual's willingness to make mistakes - even to look foolish or stupid. — Robert Ringer
If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ? — Brian Regan

Who Wrote These Stupid Quotes

2,389 authors contributed a total of 4,236 Stupid Quotes, led by these top contributors: