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Saws Quotes by Jack Handey
- As we were driving, we saw a sign that said, "Watch for Rocks." Martha said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her…
- If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flipper, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flipper, wouldn't you? You'd be…
- The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and…
- I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!
- One day I saw a big kid beating up a little kid. I went over to the little kid and gave him a swift kick.…
- Once I saw my parents argue because we didn't have a lot of money anymore. So, I did what I had to do. I got…
More Saws Quotes
- When I was a little kid - and even still - I loved magic tricks. When I saw how movies got made… — J. J. Abrams
- India saw from the beginning, and, even in her ages of reason and her age of increasing ignorance, she never lost hold… — Sri Aurobindo
- She saw too that man has the power of exceeding himself, of becoming himself more entirely and profoundly than he is, truths… — Sri Aurobindo
- My good works, however wretched and imperfect, have been made better and perfected by Him Who is my Lord: He has rendered… — Teresa of Avila
- When I took the habit, the Lord immediately showed me how He favours those who do violence to themselves in order to… — Teresa of Avila
- If a man went simply by what he saw, he might be tempted to affirm that the essence of democracy is melodrama. — Irving Babbitt
- After the $700 billion bailout, the trillion-dollar stimulus, and the massive budget bill with over 9,000 earmarks, many of you implored Washington… — Michele Bachmann
- People were floored when they saw that the underwear bomber, after less than 50 minutes of interrogation, was given the rights, privileges,… — Michele Bachmann
- I saw some musicals at dinner theaters where I grew up. But I didn't go to a big theater to see one… — Amy Adams
- I'd seen 'Interview with A Vampire' and saw Dracula movies growing up, but I never thought, 'I love vampires; I have to… — Alan Ball
- I wanted to be a teacher, but I was a lousy student, one of the slowest readers. It was a tremendous struggle.… — Ann Bancroft
- I learned from Mr. Wrigley, early in my career, that loyalty wins and it creates friendships. I saw it work for him… — Ernie Banks