"The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down……" — Jack Handey
"The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. "Uh-oh," he though. "This watering hole is reserved for skeletons.""
—
Jack Handey
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
-
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
-
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
-
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
-
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
-
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
-
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
-
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
-
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
-
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
-
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
-
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Bones Quotes
This quote is filed under Bones Quotes,
one of 1,518 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
Don't tire yourself more than need be, even at the price of founding a culture on the fatigue of your…
— Antonin Artaud
-
Personally I have no bone to pick with graveyards.
— Samuel Beckett
-
Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
— Ambrose Bierce
-
The thing I was attracted to as a little girl was Kirk, Bones and Spock, and their utter loyalty. There's…
— Jolene Blalock
-
I have seen good nurses and bad nurses. They existed along a continuum: from hard-working, kind and competent people, to…
— Jo Brand
-
While I'm playing baseball, I'm still writing songs and having tapes sent to me. I'm sure I'll spend a lot…
— Garth Brooks
-
My two grandmothers both died of cancer, so I understand how painful and difficult this disease is on the entire…
— Gisele Bundchen
-
No one will ever know what 'In Cold Blood' took out of me. It scraped me right down to the…
— Truman Capote
-
We are more than just flesh and bones. There's a certain spiritual nature and something of the mind that we…
— Benjamin Carson
-
If you're Australian, you feel it in your bones because you're at odds with everybody else, except other Australians, in…
— Nick Cave
-
People who love soft methods and hate iniquity forget this; that reform consists in taking a bone from a dog.…
— John Jay Chapman
-
Snooki is really beautiful and looks quite like Elizabeth Taylor in 'Cleopatra.' She has the same bone structure. I'm kind…
— Margaret Cho
See all 1,518 Bones Quotes »