"The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down……" — Jack Handy
"The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. Uh-oh, he thought. This watering hole is reserved for skeletons."
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Jack Handy
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11 Quotes by Jack Handy
Jack Handy has 11 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like…
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And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money,…
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I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could…
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As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about…
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Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of…
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Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a…
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If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
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One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes.
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If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
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I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see…
See all 11 quotes by Jack Handy »
More Bones Quotes
This quote is filed under Bones Quotes,
one of 1,518 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Don't tire yourself more than need be, even at the price of founding a culture on the fatigue of your…
— Antonin Artaud
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Personally I have no bone to pick with graveyards.
— Samuel Beckett
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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
— Ambrose Bierce
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The thing I was attracted to as a little girl was Kirk, Bones and Spock, and their utter loyalty. There's…
— Jolene Blalock
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I have seen good nurses and bad nurses. They existed along a continuum: from hard-working, kind and competent people, to…
— Jo Brand
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While I'm playing baseball, I'm still writing songs and having tapes sent to me. I'm sure I'll spend a lot…
— Garth Brooks
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My two grandmothers both died of cancer, so I understand how painful and difficult this disease is on the entire…
— Gisele Bundchen
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No one will ever know what 'In Cold Blood' took out of me. It scraped me right down to the…
— Truman Capote
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We are more than just flesh and bones. There's a certain spiritual nature and something of the mind that we…
— Benjamin Carson
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If you're Australian, you feel it in your bones because you're at odds with everybody else, except other Australians, in…
— Nick Cave
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People who love soft methods and hate iniquity forget this; that reform consists in taking a bone from a dog.…
— John Jay Chapman
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Snooki is really beautiful and looks quite like Elizabeth Taylor in 'Cleopatra.' She has the same bone structure. I'm kind…
— Margaret Cho
See all 1,518 Bones Quotes »