"I'd like to see a nude opera, because……" — Jack Handy
"I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals"
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Jack Handy
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11 Quotes by Jack Handy
Jack Handy has 11 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like…
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And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money,…
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I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could…
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The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But…
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As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about…
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Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of…
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Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a…
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If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
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One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes.
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If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
See all 11 quotes by Jack Handy »
More Bet Quotes
This quote is filed under Bet Quotes,
one of 835 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a…
— Rita Mae Brown
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It's never paid to bet against America. We come through things, but its not always a smooth ride.
— Warren Buffett
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What is faith but a kind of betting or speculation after all? It should be, I bet that my Redeemer…
— Samuel Butler
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I have always considered "Pascal's Wager" a questionable bet to place. Any God worth "believing in" would surely prefer an…
— Alan Dershowitz
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You bet I did and I enjoyed it.
— Michael Bloomberg
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Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag,…
— Dave Marr
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When you can show concern about what matters to your customer, that's Business to Customer Loyalty, and you can bet…
— Albert Houtum-Schindler
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Never bet on baseball.
— Pete Rose
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I bet if I give all my love then nothing's gonna tear us apart.
— Drake
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I would say you might encounter many defeats but you must never be defeated, ever. In fact, it might even…
— Maya Angelou
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
— Jack Handey
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It doesn't matter if people are playing jazz or writing poetry. If they want to be successful, they need to…
— Jonah Lehrer
See all 835 Bet Quotes »