"And after you're real drunk, maybe go down……" — Jack Handy
"And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep."
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Jack Handy
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11 Quotes by Jack Handy
Jack Handy has 11 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like…
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I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could…
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The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But…
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As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about…
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Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of…
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Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a…
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If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
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One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes.
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If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
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I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see…
See all 11 quotes by Jack Handy »
More Ask Quotes
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one of 8,438 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
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I began wearing hats as a young lawyer because it helped me to establish my professional identity. Before that, whenever…
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I could be on 52nd and Third in Manhattan up and ask a strange for directions and they will help…
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To save your world you asked this man to die; would this man, could he see you now, ask why?
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Before people complain of the obscurity of modern poetry, they should first examine their consciences and ask themselves with how…
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The Holy Spirit is our comforter, our teacher. That's why, in prayer, we can ask the Lord to open up…
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I'm not an actor that tends to care. I don't ask 'Is this a close up? Is this a master?…
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