"I saw on this nature show how the……" — Jack Handey
"I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!"
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Coincidence Quotes
This quote is filed under Coincidence Quotes,
one of 405 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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We are continually shaped by the forces of coincidence.
— Paul Auster
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The world is so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we are in control of our own…
— Paul Auster
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I don't believe in coincidence.
— Juliette Binoche
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I love England. It's no coincidence it's the first place I moved to for a more cosmopolitan life, which is…
— Bjork
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not…
— Erma Bombeck
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It's not a coincidence that in the Scriptures, poverty is mentioned more than 2,100 times. It's not an accident. That's…
— Bono
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Direction coupling between the various radiations generated in a nuclear reaction both with one another and with the initiating radiation…
— Walther Bothe
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Certainly I'm still mining my experiences as a journalist. I think it's no coincidence that all three of my novels…
— Geraldine Brooks
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Coincidences are spiritual puns.
— Gilbert K. Chesterton
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I'm aware of the mystery around us, so I write about coincidences, premonitions, emotions, dreams, the power of nature, magic.
— Isabel Allende
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In real life, coincidences happen all the time. In novels, they are leapt upon with fury.
— Harlan Coben
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It may be a coincidence, but from the minute I took anti-depressants, I didn't pick up a guitar or a…
— Adam Ant
See all 405 Coincidence Quotes »