« All Said Quotes · Dave Barry's Page
Said Quotes by Dave Barry
- Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.
- Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs…
- The voice belonged to Mr. Pzyrbovich, an algebra teacher who was always called Mr. P, for obvious reasons. He has a heavy accent, which a…
- The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green.
- If Peter was nine, and a new boy came to St. Norbert’s Home for Wayward Boys who said he was ten, why, then, Peter would…
- Why don’t you lift the end?” said Alf. “It’s me back, Alf,” complained Mack. “You know how it troubles me.” “No more than mine troubles…
- Cyrus Pembridge, the Never Land’s captain, was widely regarded as the most incompetent man to comman a ship since the formation of water. “Who in…
- Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?” “We’re going to look for water,” said Alf. “And food?” said Tubby Ted. “Water first,” said…
- You and Teacher,” said Molly. “Yes,” said Peter. “She’s very clever. You’ll like her.” “I’m sure,” said Molly.
- You might have mentioned this to me Molly,” said Leonard. “The fact that there are hostile natives on the island.” “I forgot,” said Molly. “You…
- Leonard Aster thanked Fighting Prawn and the Mollusk tribe for their hospitality. “You mean,” said Fighting Prawn, “for not killing you?” “Yes,” said Leonard. “It…
- My son, Rob....said the only time he ever wraps a gift is, quote, "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be…
More Said Quotes
- Live never to be ashamed if anything you say or do is published around the world, even if what is said is… — Richard Bach
- That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'. — Richard Armour
- That said, the question remains: how to strike the balance between free speech and mutual respect in this mixed-up world, both blessed… — Timothy Garton Ash
- If I were to say, 'God, why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said, 'God, why me?' about the… — Arthur Ashe
- The book that convinced me I wanted to be a writer was 'Crime and Punishment'. I put the thing down after reading… — Paul Auster
- My mother always said I must be part Mongolian because of my lotus-pale complexion and squid-ink black hair. — Diane Ackerman
- I came to the conclusion months ago, and I said it to members of Congress, that the only way people are going… — David Axelrod
- I have a master plan as an artist. I've always said I'm not going to be punching nobody's clock. I will work… — Erykah Badu
- Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a… — Russell Baker
- I was in college in Washington, D.C. I did three years full-time. I did all my requirements, and my senior year was… — Alec Baldwin
- American history is longer, larger, more various, more beautiful, and more terrible than anything anyone has ever said about it. — James A. Baldwin
- All of the muscles were gone, so that was a real tough time of rebuilding all of that. But you have a… — Christian Bale