« All Run Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Run Quotes by Jack Handey
- One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.
- I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up…
- I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his…
- The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminded me of the sound of urine splashing into a filthy Texaco latrine.
- I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why? It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun…
- Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked…
More Run Quotes
- I have nothing against 3-D in theory. But I've also never run to the movies because something's in 3-D. — J. J. Abrams
- To run away from trouble is a form of cowardice and, while it is true that the suicide braves death, he does… — Aristotle
- I exercise everyday. I swim, I bike, I run and I go to the gym. — Lance Armstrong
- I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender… — David Attenborough
- Almost all of our relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- Let not your mind run on what you lack as much as on what you have already. — Marcus Aurelius
- I was in the Minnesota state Senate from 2000 until 2006. In 2006, I was urged to run for Congress, I did.… — Michele Bachmann
- I thought if anyone need a leg up, it was our foster children. So, I started getting involved in education reform, and… — Michele Bachmann
- Few people wear out before their time. Mostly they rust out, worry out, run out - spill out. A machine must have… — George Matthew Adams
- The Minnesota Republican hierarchy didn't want me to run against their incumbent in 2000; they didn't know who I was. And once… — Michele Bachmann
- I am politically pro-choice, but personally pro-life. I have my faith but refuse to force it on the world at large -… — Julianna Baggott
- I've run my mouth pretty good about my beliefs. — Stephen Baldwin