« All New Quotes · Dave Barry's Page
New Quotes by Dave Barry
- And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came…
- The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man…
- Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the 'most reliable Windows ever.' To me, this is like saying that…
- Infiniti ads are part of an exciting new trend called "Advertising Whose Sole Purpose Is to Irritate You."
- One popular new plastic surgery technique is called lip grafting, or 'fat recycling,' wherein fat cells are removed from one part of your body that…
- Many, many of you have written to me asking the following question: 'Dave, have their been any new advancements in the field of artificial falcon…
- I also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of being left behind, spending hundreds of millions of dollars to…
- Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary to…
- If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More than once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for…
- Here in the news media, our focus is on speed. When we get hold of some new and possibly inaccurate information, our highest priority is…
- ...Terry Jackson, who is the Miami Herald's automotive writer and TV critic. That's correct: This man gets paid to drive new cars AND watch television.…
- A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas today, because of…
- At the height of rush hour, people on the London underground actually say "excuse me." Imagine what would happen if you tried an insane stunt…
- Everybody in New York, including police horses, dresses fashionably, and whenever I'm there, even in my sharpest funeral-quality suit with no visible ketchup stains, I…
- Although it was constructed in 1536, the New York subway system boasts an annual maintenance budget of nearly $8, currently stolen, and it does a…
- If for some reason you are unsure where to go, all you have to do is stand there looking lost, and within seconds a helpful…
- Within less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time by perspiring freely…
- If he (The New York Taxi Driver) talked to me, he might lose his concentration, which would be very bad because the taxi has some…
- 9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the parties had to…
- I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
- Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past five years…
- Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs…
- Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
- Thus the white men and Native Americans were able, through the spirit of goodwill and compromise, to reach the first in what would become a…
- If Peter was nine, and a new boy came to St. Norbert’s Home for Wayward Boys who said he was ten, why, then, Peter would…
More New Quotes
- The new always happens against the overwhelming odds of statistical laws and their probability, which for all practical, everyday purposes amounts to… — Hannah Arendt
- Stopping leaks is a new form of censorship. — Julian Assange
- Even in New York, there are a lot of very attractive girls pedaling around. That just happens to be one of the… — Paul Auster
- The alliance should agree... to an effective NATO role against the new threats presented by international terrorism and weapons of mass destruction. — Jose Maria Aznar
- In the holy city of Mecca, violence of any kind was forbidden. From the moment they left home, pilgrims were not permitted… — Karen Armstrong
- Research is creating new knowledge. — Neil Armstrong
- I thought the attractions of being an astronaut were actually, not so much the Moon, but flying in a completely new medium. — Neil Armstrong
- I think it's important as a filmmaker, as any person working in the arts, that you've got to try new stuff and… — Darren Aronofsky
- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' — Isaac Asimov
- The most extraordinary thing about trying to piece together the missing links in the evolutionary story is that when you do find… — David Attenborough
- I think every age lives in a blend of technology so there's always older ones mixed in with newer ones, and when… — Margaret Atwood
- Life is too short to spend hoping that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lip shade will mask an ugly heart. — Kevyn Aucoin