"The old system of having a baby was……" — Dave Barry
"The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch."
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Dave Barry
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508 Quotes by Dave Barry
Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…
See all 508 quotes by Dave Barry »
More Baby Quotes
This quote is filed under Baby Quotes,
one of 5,122 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Apart from anything else, I am designed by evolution, like we all are: if we see a little thing like…
— David Attenborough
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her…
— Enid Bagnold
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There is a 'sanctity' involved with bringing a child into this world: it is better than bombing one out of…
— James A. Baldwin
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I talked about adopting a baby when I was 20 years old, before it became 'hip.'
— Tyra Banks
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It's not like I want to hop on a bandwagon, because I said it 15 years ago - bringing a…
— Tyra Banks
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It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why…
— Dave Barry
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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you…
— Dave Barry
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I feel like some of my baby fat is going away, and that's not just physically, it's psychologically. I think…
— Drew Barrymore
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There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy…
— Charles Baudelaire
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I have no TV, thank God. I haven't heard anything about Tom Cruise, except that he had a baby, I…
— Emmanuelle Beart
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
— Milton Berle
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Having a baby takes so much from you. It's the most glorious thing you'll ever do, but the aftermath is…
— Halle Berry
See all 5,122 Baby Quotes »