« All My Roommate Quotes · Steven Wright's Page
My Roommate Quotes by Steven Wright
- My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
- Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I…
- My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
More My Roommate Quotes
- I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon… — Mitch Hedberg
- Between me and my roommate, we've hit 400 Major League home runs. — Bob Uecker
- My roommate at Yale University introduced me to the auteur theory of filmmaking. I soon became a big fan of the works… — Lloyd Kaufman
- My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird… — Mitch Hedberg
- My wife and I met when each of us was dragged to a party we didn't want to go to by friends.… — Michael Chiklis
- My roommate and my boyfriend, they both know I am compulsive and controlling. — Christina Ricci
- Me and my roommate wrote and directed a little short comedy called 'The Elevator. — Heather Morris
- When I was 16, I was in Boston and some friends said, 'You want to go to New York?,' I went with… — Stana Katic
- My students often say, 'My roommate read this story and really liked it,' and it's hard to convince them that there are… — Joyce Carol Oates
- My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. — Steven Wright
- Mona knocked at the wrong time. “Uh…yeah…wait a minute, Mona -- ” Mona shouted through the door. “Room service, gentlemen. Just pull… — Armistead Maupin
- Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he… — Steven Wright