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More Quotes by Jack Handey
- If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
- Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in…
- Instead of building newer and larger weapons of mass destruction, I think mankind should try to get more use out of the ones we have.
- I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles. It would be cute because the parrot can't seem…
- It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just…
- I don't think I'm ever more "aware" than I am right after I hit my thumb with a hammer.
- Worship the potato? The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what else is more deserving of worship? It's simple, it comes from…
- To us, it might look like just a rag. But to the brave, embattled men of the fort, it was more than that. It was…
- Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
- As the light changed from red to greeen to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more…
- How come, just as the rocket is launching, the astronauts don't also shoot some fireworks out the window? It would make the whole takeoff look…
- The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a…
- I guess more bad things have been done in the name of progress than any other. I myself have been guilty of this. When I…
- I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
- Sometimes I wish Marta were more loyal to me. Like the other day. The car parked next to ours had a real dirty windshield; so…
- I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a…
More More Quotes
- I'm hoping someday that some kid, black or white, will hit more home runs than myself. Whoever it is, I'd be pulling… — Hank Aaron
- The more dubious and uncertain an instrument violence has become in international relations, the more it has gained in reputation and appeal… — Hannah Arendt
- No punishment has ever possessed enough power of deterrence to prevent the commission of crimes. On the contrary, whatever the punishment, once… — Hannah Arendt
- I believe more in precision, when you have the capability, like when you see a mosquito fly and you're able to hit… — Alexis Arguello
- As a kid, 'Star Wars' was much more my thing than 'Star Trek' was. — J. J. Abrams
- I believe in anything that will engage the audience and make the story more effective. — J. J. Abrams
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. — Aristotle
- Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. — Aristotle
- In a democracy the poor will have more power than the rich, because there are more of them, and the will of… — Aristotle
- Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular. — Aristotle
- The whole is more than the sum of its parts. — Aristotle