"I don't think I'm ever more "aware" than……" — Jack Handey
"I don't think I'm ever more "aware" than I am right after I hit my thumb with a hammer."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Aware Quotes
This quote is filed under Aware Quotes,
one of 2,807 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I stay true to myself and my style, and I am always pushing myself to be aware of that and…
— Aaliyah
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The police can't protect consumers. People need to be more aware and educated about identity theft. You need to be…
— Frank Abagnale
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Steve Irwin did wonderful conservation work but I was uncomfortable about some of his stunts. Even if animals aren't aware…
— David Attenborough
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I can scarcely manage to scribble a tolerable English letter. I know that I am not a scholar, but meantime…
— John James Audubon
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I was living an extremely burdensome life, because every time I prayed, I became more clearly aware of my faults.…
— Teresa of Avila
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In high school, I was so painfully self-aware that how I thought of myself was probably very different from what…
— Amy Adams
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Death is a companion for all of us, whether we acknowledge it or not, whether we're aware of it or…
— Alan Ball
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These people live again in print as intensely as when their images were captured on old dry plates of sixty…
— Ansel Adams
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You know, I'm gay and I grew up being aware of that at a very early age, in a fairly…
— Alan Ball
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Events that are predestined require but little management. They manage themselves. They slip into place while we sleep, and suddenly…
— Amelia Barr
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You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my…
— Scott Adams
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If I get a script that's set in the jungle it goes to the bottom of the pile because I…
— Kate Beckinsale
See all 2,807 Aware Quotes »