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Life Quotes by Steven Wright
- Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and…
- I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
- I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
- Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
- I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
- To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.
- I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the…
- I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I…
- Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything…
- You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and…
- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took…
- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
- I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
- The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.
More Life Quotes
- Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it. — Hannah Arendt
- Culture relates to objects and is a phenomenon of the world; entertainment relates to people and is a phenomenon of life. — Hannah Arendt
- We have almost succeeded in leveling all human activities to the common denominator of securing the necessities of life and providing for… — Hannah Arendt
- I do think the heart can balance out the mind, if your heart is in a good place it can give you… — Alexis Arguello
- I find that it's hard to fully examine one's life and not have faith be part of the discussion. — J. J. Abrams
- Wise people, even though all laws were abolished, would still lead the same life. — Aristophanes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. — Aristotle
- We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. — Aristotle
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- Happiness depends upon ourselves. — Aristotle
- I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. — Aristotle