« All Humorous Quotes · Joan Rivers's Page
Humorous Quotes by Joan Rivers
- I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
- That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
- Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played "Here Comes the Bride"...
- I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
- Better laid than never.
- I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
More Humorous Quotes
- Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. — Aristotle
- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov
- I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. — Isaac Asimov
- Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all time low over the world. — Isaac Asimov
- O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. — Tallulah Bankhead
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. — Honore de Balzac
- It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty… — Honore de Balzac
- Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Douglas Adams