"If God wanted us to bend over he'd……" — Joan Rivers
"If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor."
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Bend Quotes
This quote is filed under Bend Quotes,
one of 493 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Old maids, having never bent their temper or their lives to other lives and other tempers, as woman's destiny requires,…
— Honore de Balzac
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In the past I have defended the right of the IRA to engage in armed struggle. I did so because…
— Gerry Adams
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You see, idealism detached from action is just a dream. But idealism allied with pragmatism, with rolling up your sleeves…
— Bono
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I want to still be able to garden while I can bend over.
— Barbara Bush
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Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.
— Albert Camus
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Heart is what drives us and determines our fate. That is what I need for my characters in my books:…
— Isabel Allende
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I produce the records. I don't hand over control to some really expensive producer who then talks to the record…
— Tori Amos
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We will not bend or fail until the blood of every last Jew from the youngest child to the oldest…
— Yasser Arafat
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Genius is a bend in the creek where bright water has gathered, and which mirrors the trees, the sky and…
— Edgar Lee Masters
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Prayer does not mean that I am to bring God down to my thoughts and my purposes, and bend his…
— Dwight L. Moody
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We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and…
— Dwight D. Eisenhower
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It is to be regretted that the rich and powerful too often bend the acts of government to their own…
— Andrew Jackson
See all 493 Bend Quotes »