"I'll lie still for a lot of things……" — Joan Rivers

I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't… - Joan Rivers

"I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them."

— Joan Rivers

Humorous Quotes Lie Quotes Lie Still Quotes Lot Quotes Lying Quotes One Quotes Sex Quotes Stills Quotes Them Quotes Things Quotes

245 Quotes by Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…

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More Humorous Quotes

This quote is filed under Humorous Quotes, one of 1,582 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. — Aristotle
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. — Isaac Asimov
Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all time low over the world. — Isaac Asimov
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. — Tallulah Bankhead
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. — HonorÈ De Balzac
It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to… — HonorÈ De Balzac
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Douglas Adams

See all 1,582 Humorous Quotes »