« All Gets Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Gets Quotes by Jack Handey
- It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you…
- If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.
- Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
- I think a good movie would be about a guy who's a brain scientist, but he gets hit on the head and it damages the…
- You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water…
- Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half? Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way.
- A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go…
- If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him…
- Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the ground. You pull…
More Gets Quotes
- I had some big ups and downs when I was in my 20s and the one thing I learned was, no matter… — Darren Aronofsky
- Between you and me, I think that may be one of the things that will help with the collaboration, because there are… — Robert Asprin
- Well, there's a question as to what sort of information is important in the world, what sort of information can achieve reform.… — Julian Assange
- Once a novel gets going and I know it is viable, I don't then worry about plot or themes. These things will… — Chinua Achebe
- America gets rock stars a little more than Canada does. — Sebastian Bach
- Put your trust in the Lord and go ahead. Worry gets you no place. — Roy Acuff
- I find it kind of disturbing when people cheer when someone just gets stabbed brutally. — Rick Baker
- I am so spoiled. I cannot watch a show where it gets interrupted for ads. I have to TiVo it and skip… — Alan Ball
- I think luck gets you on to the stage. But it has nothing to do with keeping you there. — Eric Bana
- I hate being clean-shaven. My daughter gets very upset if I shave and says, 'Bring back the spikes, Dad.' — Eric Bana
- When I think about moguls, I think like Donald Trump who... owns NYC practically. That's a mogul. I feel like I'm on… — Tyra Banks
- The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. — Roger Bannister