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Fire Quotes by Jack Handey
- It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you…
- I think that a hat which has a little cannon that fires and then goes back inside the hat is at least a decade away.
- I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No,…
- I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why? It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun…
- If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
- I bet what happend was, they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then, that night, they burned the wheel.
- I guess more bad things have been done in the name of progress than any other. I myself have been guilty of this. When I…
- If you go to a party, and you want to be the popular one at the party, do this: Wait until no one is looking,…
- I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground…
- If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
More Fire Quotes
- I'd take precision any day over power; as far as being tactical you know you have to see what's going on in… — Alexis Arguello
- That said, the question remains: how to strike the balance between free speech and mutual respect in this mixed-up world, both blessed… — Timothy Garton Ash
- You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike. — Dave Attell
- Jonathan is that brilliant little fire that burns within us all, that lives only for those moments when we reach perfection. — Richard Bach
- Good fame is like fire; when you have kindled you may easily preserve it; but if you extinguish it, you will not… — Francis Bacon
- It's just very homey in Ireland. It's very comforting and comfortable. There's lots of fireplaces with fires. It's just really cozy. — Amy Adams
- Fires can't be made with dead embers, nor can enthusiasm be stirred by spiritless men. Enthusiasm in our daily work lightens effort… — James A. Baldwin
- In all parts of the Old World, as well as of the New, it was evident that Columbus had kindled a fire… — Charles Kendall Adams
- Money is in some respects life's fire: it is a very excellent servant, but a terrible master. — P T Barnum
- The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. — Dave Barry
- I was one of the hardest-hitting conservatives on George W. Bush. Republicans didn't like me on George W. Bush. Republicans still don't… — Glenn Beck
- Music should strike fire from the heart of man, and bring tears form the eyes of woman. — Ludwig van Beethoven