"I bet for an Indian, shooting an old……" — Jack Handey
"I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over, is like the top thing you can do."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Arrow Quotes
This quote is filed under Arrow Quotes,
one of 242 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Every aspect of human technology has a dark side, including the bow and arrow.
— Margaret Atwood
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I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18…
— Orlando Bloom
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Oh yeah, I mean, it wasn't a very good guitar, most good guitars have got thrust rods in the necks…
— Eric Clapton
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When we shoot an arrow, we look to the fall of it; when we send a ship to sea, we…
— Richard Sibbes
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While my friend was my friend, he flattered me, and I never heard the truth from him. When he became…
— Henry David Thoreau
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I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there's a gas bill…
— Rowan Atkinson
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Fate's arrow, when expected, travels slow.
— Dante Alighieri
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Know that a word suddenly shot from the tongue is like an arrow shot from the bow. Son, that arrow…
— Rumi
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Famous archer, Howard Hill won all of the 267 archery contests he entered. He could hit a bullseye at 50…
— Zig Ziglar
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Sometimes you have tons of money, and still you are miserable, you are not satisfied. The bow of gratitude and…
— Harbhajan Singh Yogi
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As the arrow that leaves the bow cannot be recaptured, what we say, senselessly, about others causes us great harm.
— Sylvia Fraser
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Read the flight of your arrow if you want to know your future.
— Alessandro Baricco
See all 242 Arrow Quotes »