« All Children Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Children Quotes by Jack Handey
- The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
- One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.
- Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
- Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make…
- I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
- When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn…
- I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh at me. I…
- The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old…
More Children Quotes
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those… — Aristotle
- Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. — Aristotle
- There's love, and certainly children you care about more than yourself. But nevertheless, we're alone in our heads. — Paul Auster
- Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision. — Dick Armey
- Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instance, they demand so… — Richard Armour
- If you have children, you don't want to have drugs and drinks in the house. It's just not good. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- To suggest that God specifically created a worm to torture small African children is blasphemy as far as I can see. The… — David Attenborough
- Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized. — Margaret Atwood
- I didn't go to school for a full year until I was 12. In the summer I was a wild child in… — Margaret Atwood
- The countenances of children, like those of animals, are masks, not faces, for they have not yet developed a significant profile of… — Wystan Hugh Auden
- A true conservationist is a man who knows that the world is not given by his fathers, but borrowed from his children. — John James Audubon