We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous.… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Teachers who have plugged away at their jobs for twenty, thirty, and forty years are heroes. I suspect they know in their… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way,… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
