Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him,… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own.… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way,… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular. — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image