Well, everyone, welcome to Shark Week. Oh that's on CBS and there's been a lot of cutbacks, so it's just Friday night… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
A new study says by 2030 household robots will dominate every phase of our lives. The study says the No. 1 field… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes, in order to follow one's heart, one must do the wrong thing. Now, I'm not absolving anyone of their actions; you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Ocean's 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn't want to see that? Well you, apparantly, 'cause… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I've got mixed feelings about poetry cause done well poetry is fantastic. But not many people are capable of doing it well.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well,… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
