Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They always say the Miss America Pageant isn't a beauty contest, it's really a scholarship program. If that's the case, why don't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know, it shows how old I am. I can remember the good old days when the president picked the Supreme Court… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Colin Farrel was recently asked about prostitutes and he said, It's like ordering a pizza. Really? What restaurant is he going to?… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
McDonald's announced that it's considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten them up and then kill… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Kerry is well on his way to reaching his magic number of 2,162. That's the total number of delegates he needs to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Ashcroft went on to say that our way of life is being threatened by a group of radical religious fanatics who are… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
While visiting Kenya, former President Clinton was offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter, Chelsea, by a love struck government… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know what's sad about this? Not the gambling, but the best way to reach college athletes is the Cartoon Network. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
ESPN has announced that they are launching a 3-D sports network. Industry analysts say this will absolutely revolutionize the way Americans don't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A congressman actually apologized to BP's CEO for the way the company has been treated. How stupid are you when the CEO… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If we go down in flames, we will be laughing on the way down, believe me. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to run for governor. You know what would be better? Arnold… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
(The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The entire spring and summer line from Marc Jacobs was stolen on the way to the fashion show in Paris. The thief… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I always tell new people in show business. I say, "Look, show business pays you a lot of money, because eventually you're… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A Pakistan businessman is claiming that John Walker Lindh is gay and that he was his lover. Say what you will about… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You see the pictures in the paper today of John Kerry windsurfing? He's at his home in Nantucket this week, doing his… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Ann Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have sex more than 3 times a day, and that you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A dead body was discovered this week on the grounds of a country estate owned by Queen Elizabeth. The queen said today… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a new book out about Hillary Clinton that claims Bill is still having affairs but Hillary continues to look the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama bin Laden. Time reports this week he was one of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
