Seriously, the Olympic badminton players were apparently trying to lose on purpose, a big story. But really, think about it, if you… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The three auto companies in the United States, they're all scrambling to come up with a plan, some way to reinvent themselves.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Nobody knows really what they're doing and there's two ways to go with that information. One is to be afraid and the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today's tragedy in Paris reminds us very viscerally that it's a right that some people are inexplicably forced to die for. So… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Every comedian dreams of hosting 'The Tonight Show' and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists have found a way to keep middle-aged female mice from going through menopause. Now they're working on a way to keep… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
As you leave these gates and re-enter society, one thing is certain. Everyone out there is going to hate you. Never tell… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
John Kerry is busy trying to raise money right now for his campaign. It was reported today that Kerry's hoping to raise… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People are questioning if Ted Cruz can legally run for president because he was born in Canada. And the last thing we… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the news, Chinese president Hu Jintao says that now that Barack Obama has been elected, he is looking forward to taking… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
House Speaker John Boehner said the Republican Party will no longer stand in the way of gay marriage. Then Boehner said, 'Now… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president. Yesterday in Ohio, Hillary popped into a Chipotle and she ordered a burrito bowl with… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Fall down. Make a mess. Break something occasionally. Know that your mistakes are your own unique way of getting to where you… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama, by the way, has set a Guinness World Record as the fastest person to get a million Twitter followers. Obama… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Health officials are saying the number of measles cases that originated in Disneyland continues to grow. Which is why this year after… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
