Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We loved cars until the '70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As murderous industrial magnates go, Alfred Nobel is right up there with Ray Kroc, franchiser of McDonald's. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is under the impression… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I grew up going to public school, and they were huge public schools. I went to a school that had 3,200 kids,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Global warming is a fact. Now it's up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
