You kids have fun, and be home by Thanksgiving!" our parents would call to us on Halloween night, as we staggered out… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hugely popular Windows 95 operating system revolutionized the software world thanks to its capability of accomplishing the seemingly impossible task of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Stache’s attack was perfectly timed, thanks to his veteran-pirate grasp tactics—and a big piece if luck. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? THEY'RE CLONING SHEEP. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
